The Soul Surfers

“Signals” b/w “My Crew”

scum stats: I think 250 copies pressed

I’m usually not one for futzing around playing records at the wrong speed…yeah, I know Nirvana’s Meat Puppets covers at 45rpm sound like Phish, that Wanda Jackson’s “Funnel of Love” at 33rpm is so good as to warrant inclusion on a Jarmusch soundtrack and that Dolly’s “Jolene” at 33rpm becomes a funk track sung by a heartbroken man.

All that being said, the Soul Surfers “Signals” is bonkers good at ANY SPEED I THROW AT IT.

The proper 45rpm, no doubt, these guys are professionals and their tunes are solid. Every day of the week. Worth the price of admission alone.

But from there, pitched down 10-20 percent, the song ventures into territory akin to killer instrumental backing track to never-before-heard 90’s g-funk era smash. This is the best version.

45rpm pitched up 20% is equal parts frantic video game theme song and mumblecore rap inspiration.

At 33rpm, shit is BONGED-OUT island dub, hazy through the cloud of second-hand THC atmospherics.

Pitched down 20% from 33rpm and this, well, I don’t know much about vaporwave, but this is what I expect it to sound like. Makes me want to watch purple-filtered chopped up clips of the Simpsons, you know?

HOW IN THE HELL DOES THIS WORK? WHAT IS THE MATH SCIENCE TO EXPLAIN SUCH BRILLIANCE? IS IT THE BASS LINE? I THINK IT MIGHT BE THE BASS LINE.

Seriously, the +/- 20% pitch control on this AT-LP120 turntable has already paid for itself a thousand times over.

If anyone can get “Signals” to any of the pitch designations I describe above and provide links, share ‘em here in the comments and I’ll reward you. Share that shit!